Straight Cross-dressers & Women – Part II

A few months ago, I asked my friend what she thinks of “men who like to dress-up like girls”. Her response was – “I don’t have any to do or say about such people”.  It is strange how a piece of cloth and makeup, or an accessory wore by a man can suddenly change people’s perception about him.

Another incident that happened to me last week – I was with my friends, having dinner. Sometimes, my lips tend to appear pink and that gives it a feminine look; or that is what my friends say. In middle of our conversation, one of my female friend giggled and said – “you will feel bad when I tell you this… but your lips looks like you’ve applied lip gloss”. First thing, I was flattered. Second, I know this isn’t an insult. But then, can you sense the underlying, subtle thoughts? Why the giggling? Why she thought I should feel bad about it? Why there isn’t a sincere, appreciative gesture? I feel it is, again, a form of being perceived as “inferior” just because I somehow displayed a feminine aspect of my physical self. Or may be I’m just over-thinking!

I am saddened by the fact that I never met a girl in my life that isn’t fond of cross-dressers and still encourages and takes it positively, rather than seeing it being inferior, laughable, funny or demeaning. Of course, girls who like cross-dressers do not count because they, obviously, don’t see this as disrespectful or funny. What I would really like to see is a woman or a girl who isn’t into cross-dressing men and still sees it positively and considers it normal.

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14 Comments

  1. I have several female friends who are not “into” crossdressers per se but are open-minded. They enjoy having the girls (crossdressers in “fab”) join us for girls night in, parties, and out at lounges or clubs even though they are not specifically attracted to the crossdressing element of the person.

    I educate people wherever I go about the trans* community including the crossdresser component of it. People I meet are generally pretty receptive and ask me a lot of questions to further their understanding. I love my life! 🙂

    • That’s great.. Very interesting… I am not sure when such thing can happen in Eastern countries like India!!!

  2. There *are* people out there who are happy to accept (and encourage) crossdressers (one female friend even sees it as empowering). My friends are all products of socially liberal, open-minded outlooks. My girlfriend just accepts it as one of those things I do from time to time (but not all the time!).

    I suspect I’m highly fortunate to be living in one of the small pockets of the world where tolerant people like these happen to live. I’m lucky to live in a city and culture where crossdressing may not be typical, but at least it’s accepted.

    It may take a while, but it is possible to develop the confidence to cross-dress openly; it’s possible for such confidence to silence critics before they say a word. You have to be comfortable with who you are and what you are doing, and know what you’re getting out of it. You’ll be in control, and they can’t derail it.

    Find people you trust! They’ll be laid-back, tolerant and open-minded (and possibly unwilling to go with the flow). They’ll be the ones who like to think for themselves. If you can find a group of people like that, you’ve hit a goldmine.

    • Thank you for the encouragement. All my life, I have been finding people who could accept that part of me. Those who know about it either don’t care or don’t want to be involved. I always wanted some one who can understand and be actually part of my crossdressing life; not just some one who accepts or some one who is just “okay” with it. As you said, I will keep trying and finding such people. Thanks again.

  3. Reblogged this on Le Dame Steps Out and commented:
    (guest:) Clear, focused writing from a courageous man on his CD journey. His blog already is encouraging. Hope we’ll hear more from him.

  4. Thanks for your post! I’m trans, not a cross-dresser, but I appreciate hearing about your experience. I think that part of the problem is femininity is so shamed. As someone who was perceived as a woman for many years and who often wore men’s clothing during that time, I definitely did get some criticism. But I think it’s nothing like a lot of male-assigned at birth people, men or not, get when they present in feminine ways.

    Hang in there! There are definitely other straight male cross-dressers like you in Mumbai. 🙂 You probably have already explored this some, and I know that it’s probably not the best place for finding dates (although you might be able to find some queer women interested in you), but there are a number of gay organizations in Mumbai. I haven’t heard of any trans-focused orgs, but there might be some of them, too. There will DEFINITELY be community there.

    • Hi there! I am glad you liked my blog post. Yes, I actually met a girl who loves crossdressers and we have met a few times and had some girlie fun. 🙂

      I hope to post more updates on this blog. See you around.

  5. There was an appreciative tweet from @LeDameFootwear on your essay, giving the shortlink from my blog. In my reply to him I credited Straight Crossdresser, giving your shortlink here. Thanks for your energy and courage. This sort of converstion will surely help many as it gets larger. I think your work is a significant contribution. Never lose heart. -DZ

    • I never thought some people actually read my blog! haha! Your comment just inspired me to keep writing and I will do that. Thank you so much.

      • You may be surprised to find how many have read your blog. Put widgets to work at the bottom or side. “Stats” widget is a hit counter, and there’s a “followers” widget, too. You can even see Contributors separately from Follows and Likes by placing that widget twice, or even three times (I combined F with L on the LeDameStepsOut.wordpress.com blog).

  6. Can’t agree more on this.. Why why they themselves think inferior on this subject….maybe that’s how it’s been coded in genes !!!

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